Ruminations by Brett

How wonderful and sweet is our God

2007-06-03T18:43:00.000-04:00

My friends, let me share with you some scripture I read recently in my time with God that has been nourishing my soul greatly. Jeremiah 9.23-24 says, "Thus says the Lord, 'Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things," declares the Lord."

Shoooweeeeeeeee! That is good! Our God is not impressed with how enlightened, or intelligent we are. He doesn't care about the number of degrees we have or how many clever euphemisms we can spout out.

He is not impressed with how strong we are. Last night I went to some amateur fights of the variety like you see on UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship). It is called MMA fighting (mixed martial arts), so it is a mixture of just about any fighting style. There was a lot of fights at the event, but one fighter was sixteen years old. Before last night he had been in and won four amateur fights. Last night he handily won his fifth. God doesn't care how strong or powerful we are. His delight in David was not in his skill at slinging stones or skill with any weapon in battle. God's delighted in David because David delighted in God and trusted in Him, and not his own abilities.

God is not impressed with how much money we have accumulated through toil, trade or treachery. I am not one to really think about money much, which has its up sides and down. But recently I opened up an account with a new bank. I discovered a bit more about myself as I found that I was much more concerned with the safe transfer of funds from my old account to the new one. What was I going to do if I lost that money I'd saved? I probably would have freaked out. But what would it have mattered? God gives and He takes away. Money is no great thing for God. The condition of our hearts in the matter of how we handle it is of importance to God.

No, God is not particularly focused on any of these things, wisdom, might, wealth, or a great many others, beauty, body shape, style, hobbies, popularity, wit, creativity, musical abilities and a great many other things that we constantly find ourselves and the rest of the world bowing down to in worship, consciously and unconsciously.

Rather our God is not on interested in and delights in, but also "exercises" lovingkindness, justice and righteousness! How awesome, sweet and wonderful, how trustworthy, beautiful and perfect is our God! Do things things not sing the most wonderful music to your soul? That the Almighty God would treasure and act out these things! And what is more, that He true desire for us, and the thing He wants us to boast in if we are to boast in anything, is that we KNOW and UNDERSTAND Him! This is His desire! That we know Him. That we understand Him. What could be better? What could be a greater reason for us to exist and from which to draw our meaning and purpose? What greater God could we serve?

And these are but two verses among so many from God's precious Word, which reveals who He is to us. That we may know and understand Him. That we may delight in Him, the one person, power and thing that is worth all of our time, energy, devotion, adoration and love. Dig into His Word! As Piper says, "swim in His Word!"

Oh, the depths, twists, tunnels and caves that make up the catacomb of the mind!

2007-06-02T14:22:00.000-04:00

Let it be known that after months of trying to remember a word, God has finally let me come to it! The word eluded me for some reason. It was a word I often heard in my literature classes but never really knew exactly what it meant. Then for some reason within the last couple of months I had some need to use it, but couldn't for the life of me remember it.

It came to me as I was talking with my two dear brothers Mike and Chuck. We were discussing several things of eternal value and the topic of justice came up. I was sharing that I've been thinking about the issue of late, and particularly that God is a God of justice. And often there is nothing that can be done to achieve justice in an unjust situation. All that can be done is to trust in God. As my dear friend John Piper said, "we must know the SUPREMACY of His justice. He will render ALL ACCOUNTS SETTLED in the end, in the universe, either on the CROSS or in HELL. NO injustice will remain, when Christ is finished with His supreme justice!"

But then there are times when God uses us to be agents of His justice. And when I said that, agents, it came to me. AGENCY! That was the word I'd been searching for these months. Let it be known, agency can mean this: (a) the state of being in action or of exerting power; operation: the agency of Providence. Or: (b) a means of exerting power or influence; instrumentality: nominated by the agency of friends (as defined by dictionary.com).

Now go forth my friends, trust in God's supreme agency, be His agents of justice when possible and He guides you to be so, and use the term 'agency' to impress your friends, co-workers and fellow students of academia and life!

The Proposal Story: Warning, this is full on and has some serious detail

2007-05-19T15:57:00.000-04:00

Due to popular demand, or demand anyway, I am finally going to share with those who have waited for it, my side of proposing to Abigail. So much seems to have happened since then it may take some work conjuring up some of the details, but I will do my best to get all the nit and grit.

I'm not sure I can point to a singular instant that I decided I knew it was God's will for Abigail and I to be together as husband and wife for so long as He blesses us with life. And as for love, that, too, I can not point exactly to, though a little closer than the other. I knew that I loved Abigail, when I found that I was constantly trying to convey to her that message, that I loved her, without saying those three words (my intent was to not say that to her until I was knew that I intended to propose). Nor did I want to tell her that I loved her from afar, but wanted to look her in the eyes when I said it first. And it seemed clear that God had designed our marriage union when a couple of things happened. One, all I could think about was being with Abigail forever. Two, all I could talk about with people that I loved and looked to for wisdom and Godly counsel was Abigail. Three, what counsel and insight they offered me pointed to one thing, directly or indirectly. Lastly, all that I heard from God through His Word, His Spirit, prayer and circumstances brought me to the same conclusion as the wisdom of my confidants: that if I did not ask Abigail to marry me I would have to be one of the world's greatest morons and mentally impaired individuals. Thus and thus I knew.

So it was that Abigail had the Spring Break vacation coming up and some time previously we had planned for her to come visit me here in Washington. But first I would come to Texas for my dear friend Stephani's wedding, which Abigail would attend with me, and then we would travel together to Washington. My challenge was that time was drawing near for her visit by the time I “knew”. And I did not intend to propose to Abigail without first talking with Jeff and Leabeth and asking for their permission and blessing. Furthermore, the one weekend open to me was the weekend prior to me going to Texas for Stephani's wedding. And some time previous to my heavily deliberating I had gotten myself enrolled into a scuba diving class that started on Monday and went through to the Sunday. However, it turned out that the folks teaching the class were very flexible and were willing to let me start the class, cut out when I needed to, and then catch up with another class later on and finish up then. So that is what I decided to do.

It was a long week. The classes started at 1800, just after I could escape from work, lasted until at least 2200, which put me at actually getting to bed about 2300 or so. Sometimes later because I had not read the instruction manual for the class like I was suppose to and was therefore squeezing that in as I could. And I had to be at work at about 0550. So I was a little worn out.

I had already written Jeff and Leabeth an email (I wanted to send them a letter in the mail but I somehow find it very hard to put a letter in an envelope, address it, put a stamp on it and drop it in a mail box, so email I used, eh). The intent of the letter was to give them some form of warning that, “hey, just to make sure you know, I'm-crazy-go-nuts-twitterpated-and-deeply-impressed-with-and-enjoy-to-no-end
-your-smoking-hot-to-the -point-of-incendiary-combustion-daughter.” That way when I arrived asking for permission to propose to Abigail it wouldn't be out of left field. So, letter written. They responded with basically, “duh, you'd be one of the world's greatest morons and mentally impaired individuals if you weren't feeling and thinking all that about Abigail.” They also said they looked forward to the next time I'd be in town so that they could get to know me better, and asked when that would be. “Funny that you mention that...,” I thought, and said, “because I'm actually wanting to come to town next weekend and could I talk with the two of you. And oh, by the way, would you please not tell Abigail that I'm coming in to town.”

So it was that I hopped on a plane and shot down to Texas right after work, getting into Dallas/Ft. Worth about 2300, getting a rental car by about midnight, linking up with one of my best friend's Zach, his new wife, my bro, his bro, and some other friends at a bar for a very brief visit. Zach was only visiting Texas and was about to leave for Iraq for a year-plus, so it was my last chance to see him before that. It was all-to-short an affair and not how I would have liked to done it, but it was all I was going to get. So then I headed to his brother's place for a few hours of sleep before getting up early enough to get into Nacogdoches in time to meet Jeff and Leabeth at our appointed time. Well, despite my sleep deprived and exhausted state, sleep was not surprisingly elusive. So I got up, slipped quietly out and headed for the Home of the Lumberjacks. I got in at about 7 or 8, crashed for an hour or two, got up, cleaned up, talked with my dear mum for a bit and headed into the lion's den.

When I arrived, the first thing Jeff asked me was, “well, is she worth all this trouble?”

“Yes, sir, she definitely is,” I responded.

So I told them I wasn't going to beat around the bush. I got right to it and told them that I loved Abigail, I like Abigail, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, and that I wanted their permission and blessing to do so. They gave me both, shockingly. No baseball bats were brought to bear on my head or knee caps. No pointy objects. Though I'm sure that Jeff would have really liked to do so, he refrained, for which I am very grateful.

But as I said, they were incredibly wonderful to me and I got to hang out with them for a while, drinking coffee (one of the surest ways to my heart) and they even gave me a tour of the little run down church down the street from their house that Abigail would actually really like to be married in. Unfortunately it's state is not very good for weddings right now, but perhaps others will get to experience it's charm in the future, if money is put together to really fix it up.

And ironically enough, throughout the time with Jeff and Leabeth, our conversation ultimately lead me down a path that I don't think Jeff really wanted it to. I did not have the ring yet, and I was not even intending to let Abigail know I'd been in town, but why the heck should I wait to propose a WHOLE WEEK! That would be unbearable! So I decided to bump up the proposal to that very day.

I must take a moment to give some serious credit to Anna, Abigail's sister. She had been my mole, giving me information on what kind of ring Abigail would want, how to contact Jeff and Leabeth, what I might want to say to them, when they would be available, etc. Without her assistance, it would have all been much harder to pull off. That being said, you know from Abigail's side of story her further involvement in the events that followed.

So when I showed up at Abigail's apartment after calling her and telling her I was coming over (to her surprise, as you know), she was happy to see me, but not aware of my intentions. I didn't have the ring yet, a small detail that I knew she wouldn't hold against me. But I did know how I wanted to propose to her.
So I asked her to sit down and read to her from John 13, the account of Jesus's last Passover with His disciples and how He washed their feet. He took the role of the slave and servant, elevating them above Himself, to their shock. And I read to her from Ephesians 5, where Paul talks about how Christ loved the Church by laying down His life for us and how must do the same for His wife. And that wives are to subject themselves to their husbands as we the Church subject ourselves to Christ. Then I washed her feet. Finally, I told her that I loved her and wanted to share whatever God had in store for both of us together, and asked her to marry me. And she said yes! Wooohooo!

Lieutenant's log: Star Date 971005673.12.3... or something like that

2007-04-14T12:55:00.000-04:00

So it was that Brett arose from his slumberous and contemplative slumbering and pondering on a fine Saturday morning. He ate a donut, chocolate to be precise, and decided it was time to post again. So now you're reading this, wondering what kind of information I would title with such a honorable title as to use a Star Trek reference. Well, somewhat indirectly related to Star Trek I did just rent the spectacular 1984 film "Dune" that starred the almost never again seen Kyle MacLachlan. Of course Sting, who also is featured in the film is still in the public eye. And much more importantly than Sting, the film was graced by the glorious presence of Patrick Stewart, who if you live under a rock, played the role of Jean-Luc Picard, who was only one of the greatest Star Fleet captains to ever live! And if that means nothing to you, you uncultured swine, then you should at least know him as the one and only Professor Charles Xavier, vigilant, stalwart, uber-powerful and virtuous leader of the X-Men, the coolest band of superheros to ever be contrived and manifested first in comic books, and now major motion pictures. I apologize for insulting anyone who was not aware of who this seminal actor is, and I apologize for insulting anyone's intelligence who did know of Patrick Stewart with that explanation.

I also rented "Lonesome Dove," which is another great viewing experience. It stars Robert Duvall, Tommy Lee Jones, Danny Glover, Diane Lane, Robert Urich, Rick Schroder and Anjelica Huston. I watch this great tv-miniseries with my mom growing up, and it has been a long time since I've seen it. I've only made it through 1 and a half hours of its 6, but I've no doubt it will be worth the time. My only question is do water-moccasins actually move through rivers in swarms and then aggressively attack people on horseback riding through a river? I think this will probably be my only moment of doubt concerning the film, and I could be very wrong to doubt its accuracy in depicting snake behavior. But that seemed odd to me. I apologize once again for throwing in a small spoiler to anyone who plans on seeing it for the first time, but rest assured, that is not a major plot twist.

At any rate, as to things that really matter in life (despite the seriousness with which I tried to compose those previous words, I do not really think you are a swine for not know who Patrick Stewart is (though I do pity you)), Abigail and I are only three months to the day away from being wed!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If the first six weeks of our engagement were any measure of the slowness to expect in the passage of time for the next three months... well, it will probably feel like an eternity. Ah, such is the convaluding nature of love and how it warps the mind. Abigail and I have created a wedsite for our... I just misspelled 'website' as 'wed-site'... that seems fitting so I'll just leave it misspelled. Anyway, our wedding has a site that you can look at for all the details you are curious about, and then some. I have to confess that we did it almost as much for our own amusement as for we did to help folks get the information they would need. At any rate there is a link to the right that will take you there. Hope you enjoy. It will have some additions. I intend to register at Sears, so all you guys who want to make your wedding gift a manly one, just wait, I will hopefully get that done soon.

To all you fellow fans of the Trek, K'pla!

"I wear my sunglasses at night"

2007-04-02T21:16:00.000-04:00

Thank you all for your prayers. The surgery seems to have gone well. It may be several weeks until the healing is complete and that my eyes are at their full potential for seeing clearly.

The medications are working pretty well and I'm in little to no discomfort, of course that might change once the valium wears off!

I've got lots of audio books and plenty of sermons to entertain me and lots of time to pray in the week ahead.

And YEA!!!, Abigail is coming to visit me this weekend!!! I swoon at the thought of enjoying her company... or maybe that is the percocet... at any rate, I can't wait! (Well, actually, I have to wait. Time will not fortunately or unfortunately alter its passing based on my wishes. Of course I suppose Einstein might have something to say about the relativity of time... but I'm not smart enough to know what he would say... so I'll just say I must endure the constant agony of being separated from my Love).

Abigail and I will be creating a wedding website over the weekend, so stay tuned for that!

All my love to you my friends and family and perhaps occasional passer-by.

My eyes!

2007-04-02T01:34:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Uncle Sam, I'm going to be able to get my vision corrected! So please pray for the surgery and recovery. I'm going under the laser tomorrow morning around 9 o'clock. I'll be given the rest of the week off, so feel free to call if you'd like to catch up. No guarantee though on how alert I'll be based on the use of prescribed my desire to try and sleep through any discomfort I'll be feeling with my eyes.

I appreciate all your prayers! I'll try and put an update up as soon as I can stand to look at a computer screen.

"Wove and mairwage is what bwings us togever..."

2007-03-24T13:09:00.000-04:00

I apologize for taking so long to update this thing and let everyone know that hasn't heard yet that we've set our wedding date for July 14 in Nacogdoches, Texas.

We're trying to get all the details ironed out, but being thousands of miles away from each other presents a few challenges.

Please pray for us as we work on all the preparations for the ceremony and infinitely more important, that God would continue to prepare us for the rest of our lives bound together with Christ.

Okay, I know this is really short, but I gotz to go. Shalom.

A Teaser

2007-03-07T00:11:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I hate to do this, but the hour grows late, I'm short on sleep and I promised Abigail that I'd be good and healthy and rested for our time together next week. So, I'm off to bed for my beauty sleep, but before I go, I just want to world to know that I am engaged to the most wonderful, beautiful, lovable and lovely woman I know, Abigail Abt!!!

(So I'll post all the details from my side of the story as soon as I get a chance, but until then I hope you'll go and read Abigail's version of the story. Sorry, I'm not clever enough to know how to make a cool little link in the middle of my post disquised as her name or something... but a link is just over there on the side.)

My Life's Soundtrack.... in case you were wondering...

2007-02-25T19:20:00.000-05:00

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits: "What if I Stumble" -DC Talk

Waking Up: "Who Put the Alphabet in Alphabetical Order?" -They Might Be Giants

First Day At School: "A Day Without Rain" -Enya

Falling In Love: "Dig Your Grave" -Modest Mouse

Fight Song: "The Night Descending" -Iron & Wine

Breaking Up: "The Conflict" -Tears for Fears

Prom: "Life and Love and Why" -Switchfoot

Life: "While the Nations Rage" -Rich Mullins

Mental Breakdown: "February Stars" -Foo Fighters

Driving: "Slaves to Rome" -Hans Zimmer (Gladiator Soundtrack)

Flashback: "Sam Hall" -Johnny Cash

Getting Back Together: "You Can't Handle This" -Five Iron Frenzy

Wedding: "Ty Cobb" -Soundgarden

Birth of Child: "Undecided" -Silverchair

Final Battle: "Butterfly" -Weezer

Death Scene: "I'm Free from the Chain Gang Now" -Johnny Cash

Funeral Song: "Anakin's Dark Seeds" -John Williams (Star Wars: Episode Three Score)

End Credits: "Caring is Creepy" -The Shins

Okay, so that was mildly entertaining and time wasting. I'm sure that some people find it surprising I would bother with something silly like that. I was curious. It is kind of fun and funny to see what comes up. I thought some of them were pretty humerous and one or two very fitting. Maybe I'll go back and choose the songs for all of those times that I would want. Hmmm. I've wasted enough time on this, so probably not.

I'm stoked!

2007-02-16T18:08:00.000-05:00

God's blessings are sweet and wonderful.

Why I'm excited: Abigail gets a week off when the students at Nacogdoches High School have spring break (her work schedule generally follows the schedule of the students). The fact that she gets time off is great, but even better is that she is going to come to Washington and spend that time with ME! Great right? It gets better.

I have a dear friend, Stephani, who is getting married the Saturday after Abigail's time off starts. I wanted to go to the wedding but needed to first get permission to exceed the milage limit that my job puts on me for general travel during "off duty" time. So talking with one of my bosses about getting permission to go he mentioned the idea of asking the big boss for the Friday and Monday off from work. This can be granted and not count as real vacation time. I never would have thought to ask this, but as Boss 1 said, why not ask? So I did. Boss 2 said, "no prob Bob."

Ergo, visa vee, concordantly, I get to see Abigail for about 8 days. Because of getting off from work and then because the following Friday is already an off day for the whole post, I'm going to only have to work 3 out of 8 days Abigail and I are together!

Can it get much better than that? I submit that it cannot (of course it can, but hey, not by much)!

I mean, how sweet is that!

Speaking of sweetness, I was able to get Abigail a cake for Valentine's Day and the report was that it went over very well. I hear her family partook of it with her, so I guess I got Brownie Points, or should I should Cake Points, with them as well.

Sweet...

Leadership

2007-02-11T19:39:00.000-05:00

It has been a while since I have posted. But I'm planning on sending a mass email to update folks. So I'll try to avoid that here. If you haven't ever had the pleasure of one of my mass emails and would like to get one, please just let me know and I can hook you up!

So then, what to say on this here blog.

Well, see this is the problem. I am not very creative with these post things. I need help generally.

So what do you want to hear?

Well, how about this:

I've been thinking about leadership lately. How do I become a man that will inspire and challenge and encourage and set the example for the men that follow me? How do become someone that other men want to follow? What do I want to achieve? What kind of mark do want to leave on the men that I come in contact with? Do I want them to like me, to love me, to hate me, to respect me, to fear me?

Well, I'm not sure about all this leadership stuff, but here is what I do know. I want to influence men. I want to show other men who Jesus is and what He looks and lives like. They don't have to be my friend, though I hope they will be. They don't have to think I'm funny or tough or scarey. But I think they do need to know that I will not be cowed by anything or intimidated or frightened by anything that this world has to offer. That as a man of God, as a servant of the Most High, I fear nothing. That I do not live for myself. That my life is of little consequence to me in light of the eternal value and surpassing joy of knowing and serving Christ.

I want to impact these men or war by the power of the Spirit of God who made all things and to whom all things have been given. I pray that I be a willing and obedient and dynamic conduit of the Ancient of Days into the lives of these men who I call brothers and who I pray have hungry hearts that long after the Living Water.

I'm looking forward to reading a book called Spiritual Leadership by a guy named J. Oswald Sanders. I'll let you know what I find out.

The most memorable literature that left a mark on me

2007-01-06T17:51:00.000-05:00

A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin. I'm actually going to have to go back and reread this... for the third time. At ten years old, this was the first real novel I ever read and so I was super stoked. At the time I thought it was incredibly cool. Then years later, sometime in high school I reread it and thought it sucked big time. But I don't think I'm going to be able to resist trying it out once more to make a final verdict. I suppose it is an interesting gage of my literary tastes. I changed a lot between year 10 and something-teen, and I'm pretty sure I've changed a lot since my teen years. So who knows. Who knows, third times a charm, right?

Wizard War by Who Cares This Guy Sucked So Bad It Hurt. So this was a book that as a young lad I saw often in the book store and thought looked cool. Eventually I got it. Read it. And discovered, man, some people can get some really crazy, stupid and random crap published. But this book taught me something. Brett Wilson is no quitter. No, sir. That book was as good as the pope is protestant. But I read that thing. Cover to cover. I'm not sure what that says about me, but I refused to not finish it.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. I loved this book. If I hadn't been required to read this for a college class, I feel sure I would never has creased its binding. But, lo, in this story I did find horror, in the place I did not expect it, and beauty in the place I likewise did not expect. Mary's story successfully ambushed me. Perhaps if no other book taught me this, occasionally the folks who make claims on what the cannon of literature is, get it right. Shocking I know.

The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan. The lesson I learned from this series books was not an easy one. It hurt. I loved these books. Way too much. If you haven't heard of them, you're obviously not a science fiction and fantasy reader. And if you call yourself a fan of these genres and haven't heard of Jordan's monumental series that currently spans eleven books, none of which are less than six-hundred some odd pages, you must live under a rock. I will say about these books – according to my esteemed brother Josh (whose taste in books I have always valued immeasurably) – that the last batch he has written have been hit or miss. Some great. Some fluff. You might ask why I haven't read all of these books when I've put them on my list. Here is where I go back to the painful part. I had to give them up. Sacrifice them on the altar of intimacy with God. It might sound a bit dramatic, I know, but in truth I had to stop reading them because I literally couldn't think about anything else while I was reading them. So God made it apparent over some time that I had to stop reading them. I'm not sure He won't give me leave to finish the series once Jordan finally wraps things up, but for the time being, I warn you, if you want to read this series, buckle up. Its long, complex, fun and oh so addictive and captivating.

The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury. Read this guy. I say again, go find one of this man's books and read it. It doesn't have to be this one. He hasn't disappointed me yet. I would recommend a book of short stories for a reason, however. Bradbury has great range. One story will chill your heart and seem to you directly out of the Twilight Zone. The following story will warm your heart and make you want to cry. The next will make your heart swell and want you to cheer because it is just cool. And then he'll make you scratch your head and furrow your brow as you contemplate some cryptic tale. Bradbury is a great writer that is deserving of at least one look. Enjoy. I certainly do.

Black Hawk Down by Mark Bowden. The story of the 3rd Ranger Battalion and Delta Force operator's fight in Mogadishu was my first experience with what I will ignorantly call a journalistic narrative account of a military action. First off, the events that transpired and what the men involved accomplished is absolutely worthy of your time. Furthermore, I would say to anyone who knows little to nothing about the military, or rather, the type of people in the military, that this book gives a good picture into what the men of the U.S. Military are made of. It could be said that the men that were a part of those events were of a higher caliber than the average soldier in the Army. I would agree in part. Certainly the men of Delta Force are of outstanding stature in the world of soldiers. For that matter, the men of the Ranger Battalions are, too. However, I have known a good number of men that came from one or another of the Ranger Battalions. My impression is that they are highly motivated, and good at what they do, but in truth, not that different from so many of the men in the Army. At any rate, it is well worth the time to read.

The poetry of Lord Byron. I would not say that Byron is my favorite poet. However, he was the first poet that I discovered that I liked, and enjoyed enough to go back and reread. So for that, I am a fan Lord Byron's work.

The Silmarrillion, The Hobbit, and The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. All these books in my mind are parts of one epic, grand, thrilling, heart-breaking and flat out kickace tale. The Hobbit was probably one of the first novels that followed A Wizard of Earthsea in my young reading list. Sadly I never got around to reading the other two until my college years. No other books have been so close to my heart (with the exception of Lewis's books of Narnia, which I'll be getting to) and caused me so much pleasure and total satisfaction in reading. Tolkien was nothing short of brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Sadly, many fans have missed out on an important part of Tolkien's wondrous world. If you haven't gotten around to reading The Silmarrillion, or just haven't been able to finish it for some reason, I adjure you, don't miss out! There is a lot of crap out in the world that has somehow been published. The afore mentioned book is not one of them. It rocks in epic proportions.

The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. What needs be said about these books? I've put them last on the list because I always like to save the best for last. Which, ironically, I tried to do in a peculiar way the series. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I saw the old BBC productions of these as a kiddo. Therefore as a small chap I found little motivation in reading them sense I'd already viewed them. So I only a got about as far as reading all of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and then half way into Prince Caspian. Finally, sometime around my senior year I picked them back up and reread those first two and continued on to The Voyage of the 'Dawn Treader', The Silver Chair, and then The Horse and His Boy. At that point I was undone. There was too much wonder and awesomeness in those books to so quickly consume and then be done. So I decided to prolong the magic by waiting to read The Magician's Nephew and The Last Battle. Well, I'd have to say I don't mind having waited. The excitement of finishing during my senior year of college was somewhat magical, I might say. I'll draw this story to a close by saying that I love these books above all other fiction. Truly God wrote through Jack. So many times I will think upon the best parts of these books (when Aslan shows Himself) and feel like I have caught a glimpse of our Savior, and that He has become that much bigger to me (that is a reference to one such scene). What more could I hope for from fiction than my dear Mr. Lewis has given us in these wonderful stories? Please, if you are thinking of simply watching the movies and have not read the books, do not do such a heinously heinous deed! Although the first film was great, need I even say that the book is so much better? Well, I will. It is superior. Have no doubt. Go forth, read and be in awe, for Aslan is on the move!

Who makes this crap up? Why do we pay it any mind? How does belly button lint accumulate so quickly?

2006-12-23T12:44:00.000-05:00

My brother Josh made fun of me for filling this out, so I hope someone is gratified by my work. It cost me great pains.

If you've seen over 110 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 240 movies on this list. Put your score in header and re-post.

Okay, so I scored this differently than I've seen others do. "x" indicates one I've seen in its totality. "p" indicates one I've seen in part. I tried to mark only those that I'd seen at least half of and not merely its very ending or beginning.

That being said, I've seen 114 in their totality and "half or most but not all" of 9 films from this rather eclectic list.

() Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(p) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story (Heheh, 80s!)
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
Total so far: 7x 1p

(x) The Princess Bride
(p) Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(p) Labyrinth (80s again!)
() Saw II
() White Noise
() White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
() The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 11x 3p

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
() Scream 3
(p) Scary Movie
() Scary Movie 2
() Scary Movie 3
() Scary Movie 4
() American Pie
() American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 13x 4p

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
(x) The Village
() Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 20x 4p

(x) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
() The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
() I, Robot
(x) Robots
Total so far: 25x 4p

(p) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
(x) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
(p) KING KONG
Total so far: 33x 6p

() A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
(x) The Ring
()The Ring 2
() Surviving Christmas
() Flubber
Total so far: 36x 6p

() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
() Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
() Hellboy
() The Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 38x 6p

() The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Grudge
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 43x 6p

(x) Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Sleven
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve ( oceans 13 is coming out! Branden and I got to see the set in LA)
(x) Bourne Identity
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
(x) Predator
(x) Predator II
() The Fog
(x) Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total: 51x 6p

(x) Independence Day
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
() Christine
(x) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Boss' Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
(x) Frailty
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 57x 6p

() Best Bet
(x) She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
(p) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
() Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 65x 7p

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
() Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
(x) Equilibrium
(x) The Skulls
() Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 76x 7p

() Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
() The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
(p) The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 79x 8p

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade ( talk about awesome movies!)
Total so far: 85x 8p

() Baseketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander
(x) Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
(x) Three Amigos
Total so far: 89x 8p

(x) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
(x) Night Watch
() Monster
() Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Dawn Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far: 93x 8p

() High Tension
() Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Hook ( another great classic)
(x) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
(x) Waterworld
Total so far: 97x 8p

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
(x) Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() The Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
(x) Army of Darkness
Total so far: 101x 8p

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
(x) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
(x) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 109x 8p

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America World Police
() Red Dragon
(p) Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal

Total: 114x 9p

He has set eternity in our hearts

2006-12-22T15:55:00.000-05:00

Friends, I thought I would just encourage you all to seek after what is lasting.

Seek what is eternal. Hide His word in your heart. Do not waste your days on what is useless.

"Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!" Romans 11.33

"He has made everything appropriate in its time He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end." Ecclesiastes 3.11

"But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal;" Matthew 6.20

And risk everything for the surpassing and supreme sake of Jesus Christ.

"More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ," Phil. 3.8

"If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple." Luke 14.26

Compared to the love you have for Christ, all other loves must be as hate. Not that you should hate your family, but that you love Jesus so exponentially and vastly more. That you, that we will risk everything, even the lives of our most precious in order to further the Gospel of Christ even one mile.

Let us accept His finished love for us and live as pilgrims in this fading world.

"I like people!" - Charlie Parsons

2006-12-20T23:58:00.000-05:00

I'm back in wonderful Texas, back with wonderful people. I'm having a hard time thinking about what to post because I'm sitting next to someone with some freakin' awesome slippers on. Actually... oh wait... I just remembered my response to Carmi about a certain someone, so lets just say the wearer of these sweet slippers is "some random hottie." If you know who I mean.

At any rate, it is great to be back and much fun is anticipated. Okay, look forward to more posts. I've got a lot of material I need to respond to and no excuse to not write, other than being disctracted by "that chick" who happens to be "my girlfriend." There, I got all three relatively ambiguous titles inserted into one post.

Telling you to do the obvious... and other stuff

2006-12-13T01:01:00.000-05:00

If you haven't done so, I recommend checking out her blog, which is conveniently linked over there to the right, for more info on Abigail.

As for me, well, things are continuing on in life. One exciting bit (besides getting to go to Texas in about six days), is that I'm making a trip to New York over the MLK weekend. One of the great perks of being a government employee is lots of four day weekends for government holidays! So the Navigators, a global ministry that I got involved with while in Georgia (see earlier posts), is having a conference at West Point. I'm really looking forward to it for a number of reasons. One, Nav conferences are always challenging in a big way. Two, Abigail is hoping to make the trip as well, the prospect of spending time with her exciting in itself, but also the anticipation of her being able to learn more about my perspectives of the kind of ministry I desire to do, and am trying to do. Third, I'll be able to see some old friends from Georgia! Fourth, I'll be going with at least two friends from up here in Washington. Fifth, its a four day weekend and so it would be exciting even if I were sitting at home doing nothing (sort of)!

But there will be lots of great things going on before that! But its past my bed time, so A-Dios muchachos.

All I know

2006-12-12T00:18:00.000-05:00

Praise God! And thank you for praying for Abigail! I don't know much except that I got a short message this afternoon saying that the surgery went well and that she was doing okay. I imagine she's been sleeping pretty heavily with the help of some vikaden. Once I hear more I'll certainly inform the blogosphere.

Praise, Regret, Pray, Rejoice, Hope.

2006-12-10T01:01:00.000-05:00

All you who hope in Christ, rejoice! One of His beloved has returned to Him very recently. My Aunt Libby has gone home. No longer is she a pilgrim in this land but is even now headed "further up and further in!" I deeply regret not making the time to tell her as best I could my love for her. I rejoice that she with the Bridegroom. I regret not saying goodbye. I will be very glad if I should see her again, racing deeper and higher into His infinite glory. I miss you Aunt Libby, but I praise Him for the wonder of His love and how He loved through you.

Also, by popular demand... Abigail's (perhaps demand is a strong word)... request, here are some pictures of her that are more chipper. She thinks her "scowl" in the other photo isn't her warmest look. I think... well, I won't say what I think for the sake of avoiding exessive gushiness and obvious signs of blatent twitterpatedness. Behold: the lighter side of Abigail. And don't forget to pray for her. Her surgery is on Monday morning!

Forget my ugly mug and pray for this Wonderous Woman

2006-12-08T01:01:00.000-05:00

So I think that Abigail is definitely much more enjoyable to behold and since she may be the only one to even read this thing, hey, here's flattering you, babe.

Furthermore, and much more important that ogling MY GIRLFRIEND, (got it? (don't forget I get paid to blow stuff up!)) please, please, PLEASE, pray for her. She is having surgery in 3 days. If you are interested learning more about her and her surgery you can visit Abigail's blog. Oh, and if it is you, Abigail, reading this, don't forget to pray for yourself! Just in case you forgot. And if you're only reading this because you wanderd onto my blog from Abigail's, well, then thanks for visiting, guess you're not getting much variety in the way of blog subject matter.

But seriously, please pray for her and the surgery. Praise be to Christ, the One who is Faithful and True! Praise be to God, whose authority is complete. Praise be to Jesus, whose love for us is finished, complete, unconditional. Praise be to our Heavenly Father who not only loves us, but really, truly, stunningly LIKES us!

Silliness and Seriously

2006-12-06T01:42:00.000-05:00

Thought you might enjoy this rather silly picture. If you've seen the movie Garden State you should understand my inspiration.

As the thoughts and questions have been pouring in concerning my last post, I can see you're all dying to hear whatever thoughts I've been "ruminating" over lately. Well, I don't blame you. And I guess you'll have to keep waiting because I'm already past my bed time, and coffee can only do so much, though I try and drain it for all its worth.

Denny, Christoph and a couple of other friends who have emailed me, forgive me for not writing back to you yet and know that my intentions have been good... but we know where good intentions get us, don't we?

Oh, and if you're interested, I'm currently reading The Great Divorce by one of my best friends Jack Lewis, or as he's better known, C.S. Lewis. Read it if you haven't. Read anything he wrote. And if you haven't read any of his books, start with The Chronicles of Narnia, you poor impoverished creature.

Why so silent

2006-12-02T18:58:00.000-05:00

It would seem to me that I do not know how to funnel my own experiences and thoughts down into something that seems blog worthy. Least wise, not very frequently.

So I thought I'd try and drum something up now, though I don't know now what I'll be saying.

Well, I had a thought, but then just got a call from my friend Mike. Going to some kind of a Christmas Festival with some friends tonight and apparently the departure time is sooner than I thought. So... I'm open to suggestions. Any of my three readers have anything they'd like for me to write about? Any burning questions or ideas. Feel free to comment and let me know.

Blessings of Christ to you.

Can't think of a clever or meaningful title that is sufficient...

2006-11-20T23:17:00.000-05:00

Where to start? How about God's faithfulness.

How wonderful is our God who puts hunger in our hearts for Him! How sweet is our God who is long suffering.

A thought has been in my mind for some days. Or rather, some verse. John 14.21: "He who has my commands and OBEYS them is the one who LOVES Me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I, too, will love Him and make myself known to Him."

It is an amazing self-perpetuating cycle that when we obey Jesus then we demonstrate our love for and to Him. And when we obey He then reveals more of His perfect, slendorous, supreme self to us. Upon seeing more of this Jesus, the Christ, we then will love Him all the more and desire all the more to obey, and in knowing Him better, we know HOW to obey Him all the better!

But what of the times when we, let me say I, feel the Spirit jolt me with an instant message, and say, "see that man there that looks like a mad man grumbling to himself like he wants to rip someone's arms off? Go talk to Him."

And what then happens when I say, "that is okay God. Thanks, but I'll take a rain check on that one. No? Still going to command me what to do. Let me make it clear, I'm going to make excuses to you until he finally starts that engine and drives off. Come on man! What are you waiting on? Start that car and drive off so I can't talk to you! Finally! See God, now I can't obey. He is gone."

That is just one instance. There are plenty of others. So what of those claws? What of those razor sharp claws of the Lion? Will this dangerous Lion I stand before quit showing me the way? Will He let my heart become as hardened as I try and make it? Will He lovingly strike me with those great paws with claws so sharp? (Remind me to tell you of a friend who felt those claws, even the end, and was glad of it).

Maybe (I would rather that than that He simply leave me to my own devices). But then I remember, no rather, the Spirit spoke once again, "Ah, but this claw I see you eying so warily, remember, that these claws has pierced my own paws, first."

How great is our God? Not some man, only more so. But perfect in all His ways. In all that He does and intends. The God who nailed Himself to a tree, became cursed for me, for you, who harden our hearts to His whispers that call us to be like Him. How great is our God that He would put the desire in our hearts to KNOW Him in the first place. And even more, that He would grant us the capacity, by the power and work of His Holy Spirit, to be JUST LIKE HIM.

In a somewhat different but absolutely connected line of thinking, I encourage you to go to discipleshiplibrary.com and look for a sermon by Billy Graham called "Commitment."

Our God, Jesus, is awesome. And deserving of all things. Would you gladly give your live to advance the Gospel of Jesus one mile? Would I? I hope so. I pray so. So what must we do? Obey. We must obey, obey, obey.

My little known experiences as a pilot... and broadway performer.

2006-11-13T18:15:00.000-05:00

In answer to... I'm guess one of my unidentified brother's question, here is a quick recounting of the events surrounding my piloting of an airplane.

Funny story about the plane. It was at a date auction (a fund raiser for missions and the date activities were auctioned, not the person) and I won the date for a plane ride around Ft. Worth. My friend Hillary's dad was a pilot and he gave us a ride over the city. During the ride he let me take the controls... of course he was ready to take over, but I figured that was close enough.

Also connected to that story is the account of how two dorm buddies from Clark Hall (Brian (who we always referred to by his last name, which I oddly cannot remember) and Chris Mattingly) and I ourselves got auctioned off at the same event. The date we treated three lucky ladies to was some first class spaghetti and then smores around an outdoor fireplace (which apparently we were supposed to have scheduled with the school to use!). The highlight of the evening was our song and dance rendition of "My Little Buttercup" from the classic comedy Three Amigos. I'm not sure but I think someone video taped us.

Anyone knows what happened to the tape?

A Look Backwards

2006-11-05T21:11:00.000-05:00

I got this from Abigail, who got it from somewhere else. The bold ones are what I've done.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said I love you and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a babyÂs diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger (close enough to being a stranger)
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse (not sure about this one, but it seems like I have)
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk.
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe.
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving (static-line jumps don't allow for more free fall than a few seconds, but I suppose that is close enough)
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a strangers table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero (for the vast majority of my childhood, and parts of my adulthood)
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class (level one Army combatives certified. Doesn't mean much, trust me)
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight (better believe it)
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie (hardly a professional one, but oh man was it hilarious and fun)
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an ÂexpertÂ
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house (working on doing that soon)
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didnÂt stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldnt have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication (does the Dragon Echo count?)
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someones heart (that is a going a bit too far, but I think you could say she was... a bit... obsessed...)
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery (I was a C-Section baby. Close enough for me)
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someoneÂs mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one important author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you are living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didnÂt know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident (very minor, I rearended someone. We got out. Looked at our cars in the dark. Then got back in our cars and drove on. Later I noticed the huge dent in my fender. I hope there was no similar damage on her car!)
150. Saved someones life

I've decided to add some of my own:

151. Fired a machine gun (and jumped out of a plane with about 100 pounds of gear, including a machine gun strapped to my side)
152. Thrown a grenade
153. Had only about one hour of sleep per day for a week or more
154. Been saved by someone else
155. Finished a book you thought was terrible because you couldn't stand to not finish it
156. Sharted (if you don't know what this is...)
157. Told you'd never amount to anything by your teacher... on your birthday...
158. Had friends who threw you a surprise birthday
159. Told someone all the evil you've done and had done to you
160. Attempted to tell someone all the wonderful things you've experienced
161. Jokingly formed a secret society or club
162. Kidnapped a friend as part of a joke
163. Had a cop pull a gun on you because he thought you were really kidnapping someone
164. Been scantily clad in a public place and been sought after by police
165. Tricked roommate into thinking you'd been kicked out of school
166. Been defecated on by a bird
167. Fought a dragon (okay. I haven't really done this, but I know I guy that has... okay, not really, but you can image what that would be like... no? EVERYBODY ON BUS!)

Alright. That's all I've got for now.

Problem solved

2006-10-20T03:05:00.000-04:00

It was the sitemeter...

Uh. I don't know whats up with this blog...

2006-10-20T02:15:00.000-04:00

I posted earlier today about this... but for some reason it didn't appear.

The previously posted post was about my post... that is. I found out today that things changed (again). I'm not going to the unit I originally was assigned to. Rather I'm assigned to a brand new unit that is being formed here at Fort Lewis. So I'll be in the states for a couple of years. Most likely. Who knows what tomorrow will hold...

It is not what I had hoped for. But I believe that God knows better than I do what is best.

"Now gird up your loins like a man; I will ask you, and you instruct Me. Will you really annul My judgment? Will you condem Me that you may be justified?" Job 40.7-8

"And I saw heaven opened and behold, a white horse, and He who sat on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and wages war." Rev. 19.11

"The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." Prov. 16.9

(hopefully this will appear...)

Assuming... never a good idea

2006-10-18T16:12:00.001-04:00

So I should have suspected it... asked more questions... something. But what it comes down to is that I am currently "up in the air" again concerning which unit I belong to. Fun, fun, fun. So I appreciate your continued prayers.

Also just in: I am very good at wasting my time. Though there are a number of productive things worth doing, I can easily defer them to a later date and instead flush my time down the toilet. Somehow, I don't think God is honored when we have the world at our fingers. All the knowledge we could ever dream of waiting to be revealed to us... and best of all, the Lord of all Creation who calls out to us for as intimate lover who longs to reveal Himself to us... and we/I spend my time watching the water swirl around the commode. I'm sure you're not interested in listening to me rant about my own short comings, so I'll conclude with a challenge. Do something of eternal value today. Try and figure out how you can be more like Jesus today than you were yesterday. Rinse and repeat. Chase after the wild love of your King. Be as brave and noble and consumed with Aslan as Reapacheap. Do the little things you nonsensically dread for the honor of Christ.

Cursory Update

2006-10-17T02:09:00.000-04:00

I just found out today that I was in fact switched into a new unit... but then switched back shortly after. So as it stands I will be deploying mid November. Thank you for your prayers concerning the matter and thank you for your prayers concerning my future overseas.

Also in the (Brett)news: my good friend Charlie and I had dinner with a couple here in the Ft. Lewis area tonight that work for Navigators. If that means nothing to you, Navigators is the organization that the ministry in Ft. Benning is associated with, which Charlie and I were a part of during the past year while we were in Georgia.

We had a great time talking over and after dinner. It was very encouraging to find that there are certainly people here that have the same vision for discipleship in the example of Christ in daily life. Indeed, they have been pursuing the vision Charlie and I have recently caught longer than we have been alive! At any rate, I'm sure I'm not really making myself terribly clear, so I apologize, but I am rather sleepy and am longing to lay my head down to rest.

So take heart anyone taking the time to check this thing. I've just posted twice in as many days! I may yet make myself clearer and go into greater detail as to what I'm rather clumsily explaining/mentioning.

Breaking my Post Fast

2006-10-15T20:24:00.000-04:00

Actually, I haven't exactly been fasting for any intent or purpose. I just, as I'm sure anyone who checks this blog realizes, don't blog consistently. Not good for reader retention, I know. Sorry, if you care. There might be two of you out there. And one of those two is, I must playfully say, at fault for some of my inconsistency.

Abigail. It is all your fault. If you weren't so wonderful (and smoking in the looks department) then I wouldn't have wanted to be anything more for us than a friendship. And if you hadn't so astonishingly wanted the same in me, well, I'd have been crushed and had lots of anguish to fuel posts. Furthermore, if you hadn't let me spend my time at home so blissfully in your presence, blogging would have been an option. And now that we have been asunder because of my occupation your charms force me to call you and talk to you so frequently. Look, now that I'm finally blogging, I'm talking about you. You're ruining this post for everyone else. It is all your fault. Or mostly. Or not at all. Okay, fine. You're not really to blame at all, but I wanted an excuse for trying to express in a slightly humorous way how glad I am God has so mercifully and graciously allowed me to have you in my life. Okay, that is all the gushing I'll do for now.

So for everyone else, or rather, the one other person who has happened upon this blog, I have an amazing lady in my life now. You probably know her or have at least heard about her: the one and only Abigail Abt.

And as for other news in my life: I'm at Fort Lewis now. Or should I say finally. I was originally scheduled to be here in June... it is mid-October. So yeah, my time in Georgia was a bit longer than planned. Now that I've arrived I have been told I may not be in the same unit as I previously thought. Not something I'd expected or hoped for. So I'm going to try, tomorrow, to see what I can do about getting back into that unit that I was originally assigned to. If it doesn't work out though, well, I'll have to trust that it is all in God's plan. And really, all I desire, beyond all my selfish and prideful longings, is to see His eternal kingdom expanded through my life. So please pray for that to be accomplished in and through me. And that I'll trust Him for all the rest.

Plenty more to say, but it will have to wait for later. I'm off for now. Hope you remain patient with me and wait till another post. Thanks for reading and for your prayers.

A few lessons learned

2006-09-07T17:45:00.000-04:00

Some things I've learned or experienced this year:

1) Being disciplined is obtainable
2) Mistakes are easily made and looking like an idiot is hard to avoid
3) I need to live with people or I self-destruct much, much quicker
4) God doesn't always give you what you want, though you think what you want will glorify Him
5) What discipleship looks like
6) Most times, what God calls us to is easy, being obedient is the hard part
7) Obedience to God almost always involves being inconvenienced
8) Look for the hungry and pray the satisfied grow hungry
9) Life must be lived intentionally or it will wasted
10) Self-deprecation is just another version of pride
11) I have a LOT to learn
12) Although God is in many ways mysterious, conveying truth to others about Him doesn't have to be

Thoughts Forgotten

2006-09-01T18:43:00.000-04:00

In the long gap between posting there has been plenty of things I've thought, "hmmmm, this is significant and deserves meditating on and writing about," only to allow said experience to slip my mind and miss the opportunity to do either actions.

With that said, here are some thoughts, meager shadows of what they could have been.

It seems that one of the easiest and most effective ploys of our dark and all-too clever, shall I say, spiritual enemy is fear. Fear of what? Sometimes nothing. Sometimes ridicule. Discomfort. The unknown. Failure. Any one or multiple of the sundry ways that ultimately translate into our selfishness and unwillingness to be obedient to what God has commanded us to do. Unwilling to do very simple tasks in order to build the kingdom eternally!

I'm talking about myself but I know that I am not the only one in this crazy world that suffers from the ugly aspects of the human condition.

But what happens when we do obey? What happens when we trust God? We pierce the lie, walk through it and find that on the other side of the mirage before us, that which God has commanded us to do is almost always exponentially simpler and easier than we thought. "My yoke is easy and My burden is light" (Matthew 11.30).

Yet it would be naive to say that nothing God calls us to is difficult. Consider when God commanded Abraham to sacrifice his only son. Anyone who called that an easy or simple task is either one of the greatest souls to ever live or a total out-of-their-mind lunatic. God called Christ, His own son, to the cross. Before His arrest and eventual crucifiction Luke records of Jesus, "And being in agony He was praying very fervently; and His sweat became like drops of blood, falling down upon the ground" (22.44). If God did not spare Jesus from not only a horrible death and suffering He did not deserve, but also from the agony of anticipating the consequences of obedience, how can we expect God to spare us from either? We cannot. That would be folly.

What am I getting at? I'm not sure. But I think that my point is "faith." Just as sin has a cumulative effect on us, dragging us deeper and deeper and entangling us all the tighter, so does obedience to God's commands and promptings pull us down to greater depths of faith. Faith to believe that God will provide all that is needed to fulfill His commands. I've heard it compared to building muscle, and I think the comparison a valid one. If you lift weights, when you first begin, you cannot go in and lift much. But slowly as your body is torn down by the training and then rebuilt even stronger, your body progresses to greater and greater strength. What once was impossible, has become relatively easy. Faith and obedience are much like this. If Christ had told Peter the first day they met, you will die on a cross, hung upside down for my name, I doubt that Peter would have accepted that for himself. In fact, we know that after three years with Jesus, day in and day out, Peter was unwilling even to admit he knew Jesus, much less die a gruesome death for Him. But in time, after years of obedience and servitude to the commands Christ gave him, Peter did have the faith to obey and die as His precious savior had.

And what helps with obedience? A peer in a similar place, united with you in common cause to build the kingdom and committed to obedience. Having a peer to bounce off of is what the Army calls a "combat multiplier." What you can accomplish with someone else is usually much greater than what you can do alone. Find someone to run with. "Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken" (Ecclesiastes 4.12).

"...alles auf dem Weg..."

2006-08-23T21:48:00.000-04:00

I'm waiting to leave Fort Benning. I'm bound for new thinks. To me that is. (I just misspelled "things" as "thinks." Ironic really. I will undoubtedly be stretched to new limits in variety of ways in whatever awaits me in the future.)

At any rate... Just doing a bit of a mind dump. Hmmm...

My brother Josh is visiting me here as I am... awaiting... attempting... to finish up my time here. It is good to have him around. Good to be friends with your brothers. More than good, it is one of the greatest blessings a man can experience.

One thing that is a part of the military is planning. Anything that the Army does has a purpose and a plan to accomplish that purpose. In the same manner Followers of Christ have a purpose. A goal. A desired and commanded endstate for us to achieve. Christ-likeness. Intimacy with God. The making of Disciples of Christ unto the ends of the Earth (and all the implied... tasks... associated with that)(oh, and I am careful to use the word that Jesus used: disciple, not merely believer). The root of disciple being "discipline." For one to be disciplined means one needs a plan. You don't become disciplined in an area of your life just because you whimsically desire it to be so in a vague sense. You must formulate actions to take to achieve what it is you are trying to accomplish.

I'm sure these ramblings are boring to anyone reading. They are to me, too. Just felt like stating this to myself really, not so much to anyone else.

I think what I'm getting at is... the line from Shawshanke Redemption hits pretty close: "Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'." Or even better: "From the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and violent men take it by force." - Matthew 11.12

Violence of action. Aggression. Focused aggression towards stockpiling eternal treasures. Nuts and bolts: make a plan and follow through. Fellowship with those who will uphold you/me to that plan: essential. Okay, enough with that.

Brett, out.

Currently watching:

Currently reading:

Thank you, come again.

2006-08-14T23:34:00.000-04:00

I suppose I'm a bit tardy in posting. I've been "free" for almost two weeks now, I think. Well, for those who haven't heard or did not receive an email from me concerning the goings on of my life, I'm... done... with Ranger School... for a little while anyway.

It seems that God didn't see things my way. Despite my efforts - whether they were my best efforts or perhaps my efforts in the 90 percentile range (can you ever say there wasn't something more you could have done?)- I failed Ranger School. I won't bore you with the details, but essentially... some people didn't think my leadership was up to par, so to speak. Then other folks thought I'd had enough opportunities to prove myself and ought to move on.

Thanks for playing. Come again.

Four months. Down the drain? Well, no. I wouldn't say that. If nothing else, four months in Ranger School gives you lots of fun stories to tell. Well, I guess really, they are best shared with others who have been there, too, but I suppose some would be amusing to anyone.

But more importantly, hopefully I learned a thing or two, particularly about my relationship with the Father. And hopefully I was able to show Christ's love to some men. And of course, who knows what greater things God did that I was or am at least as of yet oblivious to.

I am thankful for all the experiences. If folks are interested I suppose I can supply some more details about them. Though it would be best not to say too much more in the way of details on a blog. Not that I would be giving away any information that is too... important or hard to come by, for anyone who isn't friendly to the U.S. But the Army is understandably careful about these things. So perhaps I'll save my stories for when I see you in person. Sorry.

Thank you for all your prayers. God heard and answered them. And those he didn't answer... I believe He is merely leaving to fulfill another day.

Bis naechste mal.

Still in previously mentioned School

2006-07-09T22:39:00.000-04:00

Hello to any friend who wanders upon this abandoned blog. I'm writing from my minimum security prison... I mean... well. I'm still in Ranger School. God has seen fit to lengthen my stay here in beautiful Florida. My prayer requests are the same and I look forward to writing more and telling you about all the fun *cough* I'm having here. No, truly, there are certainly times where I've had fun and more importantly have seen God work.

Just wanted to say hello and tell you all that I'm thinking of you and miss you greatly. Please continue to pray for me. I am hoping to graduate on August 4th. I hope you'll be there in wonderful Ft. Benning, GA to see it.

Love to all in Christ,

Brett

The Lord is my Strength

2006-04-14T14:23:00.000-04:00

God has gotten me through the first of the three phases of Ranger School. We were given a short eight hour pass today to refit and reorganize before we head on to the mountains of north Georgia. Thank you all for you prayers. God has definitely answered them and I have gotten through what many will tell you is the hardest part. Please, please continue to pray for me and my compadres as we proceed. The prayers I asked for still apply. Please pray that I will have favor in the eyes of my peers and instructors. That I'll above all keep the Father as my first priority and do all of it for His glory and that I will not ever quite at any task given to me.

I sometimes find it hard to keep the pace in some situations and weariness from sleep deprevation often gets the better of me. I want to be a help and asset to those around me and not be burdensome.

I love you all and hope I'll see you at the May 25th Ranger School graduation in Fort Benning, GA at 10 am. Contact my Mom for further info. And please write letters. I would love to hear from you while I'm out there. Sorry I probably won't have the time to write back. But know that I would love to. The second address from the previous post applies now. This will hopefully be last you hear from me until May 25th.

Brett

Out for a while

2006-03-26T15:12:00.000-05:00

I'll be out and sort of about for while. Hopefully a couple months, no more and no less with me graduating at the end of it all. Here is an email I just sent out to friends and family whose email I have.

I'm headed back to Ranger School again. This should be the real deal this time. Again, I will need and will appreciate all of your prayers for me. It will definitely be one of the hottest and most memorable furnaces of my life. Please pray that God gives me the strength, endurance, determination, wisdom and understanding to make it through all the tasks put before me. That He would give me favor in the eyes of my peers and in the eyes of my instructors. And most of all that I will cling to Him in the midst of it all and glorify Him before everyone I'm around. That He'll give me the focus to see AND obey whenever I have an opportunity to point others to Jesus.

I would love to see you when I graduate from this school down in Fort Benning, GA. Here are the possible graduation dates for me. The first being when I hope and pray I'll graduate, the latter dates being if I must repeat any part of the school.

May 26
June 30
Aug 4
Aug 25

I just looked at an old email I sent out previously and thought I'd just copy and paste what prayers I requested. So these too, in additon to what I said above, please. Haha.

1) That in the midst of it all, we keep the main thing, the main thing by taking the time to get in His word and hide it in our hearts (Matt. 22.37-40)

2) A desire to do all things for the glorification and proclamation of Jesus

3) Joy and rejoicing that all tribulations and sufferings are God's working in our lives (Romans 5.3-5)

4) Perseverance, perseverance, perseverance and FAITH in God's power to get us through all things and that no matter what happens we will praise God's name and trust that He uses it all
5) That when things do not turn out like we hope that we'll not waste time dwelling on what is behind by asking "why?" but rather focus our attention on the present and the future by asking "what now?"
6) That we will boldly proclaim the mystery of the gospel through our words, actions and attitudes (Eph. 6.19-20)
7) That we will ourselves be shrewd and make the most of every opportunity (Luke 16.10)

8) Strength and wholeness of spirit, mind and body

9) A sense of humor and a worshipful heart that praises God's beauty, mercy and grace in all circumstances

And here are mailing addresses you can send mail to while I'm at Ranger school and it should reach me.

The first 3 weeks or so (Phase 1):

Brett Wilson
Benning
4th RTB
ATTN: Class 27 March 06
10850 Schneider Rd
Fort Benning, GA 31905

The second 3 weeks - post (Phase 2)

Brett Wilson
Mountain
5th RTB
ATTN: Class 27 March 06
1 Camp Merrill
Dahlonega, GA 30533-1802

The third 3 weeks - post (Phase 3)

Brett Wilson
Florida
6th RTB
ATTN: Class 27 Marc 06
6069 Walkers Lane
Camp James E Rudder
Eglin AFB, FL 32542

Any letters you send will be like solid gold. Be aware that sending food may not get to me. You can try if you want, but I'm not sure when the opportunities will arise for us to be able to eat it. There are only a couple times when they let us eat food from care packages. Letters with a picture or two is certainly good at any time. I know I must sound like a broken record, so thanks for reading the same requests over and over.

I love you all and will be thinking of you and praying for you.

Trusting in Him. Trying to follow Him.

Brett

Strange Tools of a Wonderfully Mysterious Master Craftsman

2006-03-24T23:39:00.000-05:00

There was a gathering tonight at the home I'm staying at. A friend shared something cool. This is what God said to him through the genealogy we usually skim over.

Matthew 1.

In the genealogy there are thieves, murderers, adulterers, a prostitute and a whole slew of other people that were messed up, jacked up, and dorked up sinners that God used to bring glory to His name. Not only that but He used them to bring forth THE crowning glory of all time who would conquer sin and death and make The Way for all who would believe: Jesus.

We must obey the Rabbi. "Go and sin no more." But let us not listen to the lies of the enemy that say we are useless to God because of our failures. No, Jesus, who was given all authority in heaven and earth, saw fit to put it in our hands to share the vital news of His sacrifice and to make disciples of Him in all the earth. (Matt. 28.18-20) He could have done anything He wanted. He doesn't NEED us. He has chosen to give us the undeserved honor of being His vessels to a broken and needy world.

"Higher up and further in!"

Grandma and me

2006-03-23T22:54:00.000-05:00

I'm asking for your prayers for myself and for my grandmother. It is interesting that we're both going into trials on the same day. I'll be starting Ranger School this Monday morning, early around 0400 and my grandmother will be going in for hip replacement surgery around four hours later. My trials will hopefully not be life or death, but her's will be. Now, hip replacement is not normally a life threatening procedure, but when you're 93 years old, well, it is. So please pray for her.

As for me, please pray that God will get me straight through in two months and that I endure through all the tests and hardships of the training. Please pray that I would have favor in the eyes of my peers and the instructors. Please pray that I do all for the glory of the Father and that I never quit or give him less than my best. Please pray that I am a light and a blessing to my peers. That I show them the love of Jesus in the midst of a hard place and that I point them to Him with my words and actions.

The one and only Edythe Calhoun

2006-03-23T21:46:00.000-05:00

Please pray that the Father's will will be done. Other than her hip giving her constant and intense pain she is in wonderful condition for someone her age. At least one doctor said that she could easily live to be 100+. But her hip has progressively deteriorated to the point where she would rather take the chance of death than continue to live in increasing pain and decreasing mobility. So please pray that she'll continue living. I'm not sure that I am ready for her to go be with the Father, even though she is ready for either outcome.

I wish I could express even a small part of how awesome a woman my Grandma is. She is not perfect. She isn't without flaw. But she is wonderful. She is naive and childlike. She is encouraging and challenging. She is forgetful and sometimes fearful. She is protective and patient. She is gullible. She is sweat to everyone. She has snored as long as I can remember. She serves every way she is able. She sings with her lips curled over her teeth so her dentures don't fall out. She sings at 93 better than most of us will ever sing. She has half a dozen notebooks for contact information and usually can't remember where she put any of them. She reads everything, word for word, that passes through her hands (several times because she forgot that she has already read it). She underlines anything in the Bible that moves her in some way (almost all of it is underlined). She dyes her hair brown. She tries to give up her bed to her guests, without fail. She sees potential for greatness where anyone else just sees the mundane. She will listen to anyone's story for as long as they want to talk. She has plenty of stories herself and loves to tell the same ones over. Every time she eats something, it is the best of that dish she has ever had. Each piece of fruit is the sweetest she's ever tasted. She always views everyone else as more important than herself. She prays for me everyday. She prays for so many people everyday (if her body let her, she would be on her knees before her Precious Savior). She cries over in pain in life, hers and everyone else's. She rejoices in all the wonderful things of life. She gives to anyone who asks of her. She loves, she loves, she loves. All who meet her love her.

Please pray for my Grandma, Edythe Calhoun. She gave me my first bath when I came home from the hospital when I was born. She prayed with me as I asked Jesus into my heart. She loved me before I ever knew what love was. She... is inexplicable. God delights in her. And He loved her before anyone knew what love was.

She is His craftmanship and I thank Him for every moment I've had with her. May I have more. Please let me have many more moments with her, Father.

How great is our God

2006-03-22T23:11:00.000-05:00

Today went as unexpectedly as each day seems to go. Run this morning followed by a silent breakfast with a couple of my peers. Mostly silent that is. I'll try and come back to this.

Then to a coffee shop this morning after being released from any duties to the Army for a while. My friend and I intended on staying for a few hours and then we would each go do some other things. Jason would run some errands. I would go sleep myself silly (this week has been particularly full with the comings and goings of ministry related activity). We ended up staying there the better part of the morning and into the afternoon. Outside of the Word, I was reading in an interesting book by Tim Lahaey, the Left Behind guy, I think. Only this is called Why You Act the Way You Do. It is all about personality types and I'm finding it a very quick, interesting and certainly applicable book. Applicable in enabling me to have a better understanding of myself and others. Turns out I'm a "Melancholy/Phlegmatic." That is to say I'm predominately melancholy with phlegmatic as my secondary personality. I won't go into explaining any of that. I recommend looking into it for yourself.

After much reading, my friend and I squared off across a checker board. A moment of confession: I hate loosing. I love winning. I love playing games where I know I stand a good chance of winning. I don't enjoy playing games that I stand a good chance of loosing. I like strategy but I think I'm always frustrated by my inability to quickly and easily see multiple moves in advance. Ergo I torture my opponents with ridiculously long games anytime they coerce me into games such as checkers, chess, and the like. As my beloved brother Josh will tell you (who has a much faster and adept mind than I, hence my constant reluctance to take him on head to head) I rarely will sit down to such a worthy game as Risk or Axis and Allies. "It's not you, it's me." I hate the long drawn out agony of the competition, only to be left with the bitter taste of defeat. What it comes down to is that I've been a bad sport all my life. I'm no fun to play with unless I'm beating you, and that isn't all that much fun, I suppose. So I didn't really enjoy it when an... ungracefully aging woman happened by and felt the need to comment on our game with the tone of, "boy your are idiots. Don't you see what to do. Just look at the board." I lost to my friend shortly thereafter.

Oh, so back to the silent breakfast and I'll tie in a connection to the book I read and frustrations I've been experiencing lately. Primarily people want to be comfortable. At least in our society. If it is not the primary concern it is certainly one of the top priorities of our culture. Comfort can mean a variety of things. And to my natural fleshly self, my melancholy/phlegmatic self, I am constantly finding that I don't like being confrontational; I don't naturally enjoy being awkward in my relationships and conversations with people. I want it all to flow nice and smoothly and I usually have a hard time finding natural feeling ways to turn conversations (with people that aren't trying to follow God) on to subjects of eternal value, which it so happens stand a good chance of being... uncomfortable. So, why am I saying all this? Not sure. I suppose in order to challenge those of you that may experience the same tendencies and to ask for prayer, too. Let us not be abashed: "I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes." Romans 1.16 Also, let us not use any excuse to be obedient to Jesus as laborers in the harvest, even such a seemingly legitimate excuse as "this is how you made me God." God knows how He made us (Psalm 139). But we are His slaves and we must push through our weakness by the power of the Spirit. "From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more." Consider this: Luke 12.47-48 He does not ask for excuses. He asks for a return on the investment He has made in us. Granted, it seems as though the Master will accept even mere interest (Luke 19.23), but why should we ever aim for the minimum? He has done so much for us. What excuses do we make to wait till tomorrow to obey? To Him who lacks wisdom, let him ask for it and the Father will grant it. We must ask Him to show us what knowledge we lack and then in love obey according to that knowledge.

That is what is on my mind. How great is our God, that He should count us as anything? That He should work in our hearts? That He should save any? That He has not forgotten me yet or ever been unfaithful? As my beloved grandmother says, He is "great and glorious."

"You look like uh baby!"

2006-03-21T22:55:00.001-05:00

It seems I am not only young in appearance but under the analysis of some random person that wrote this test I act younger than my actually age.

(Had trouble with stupid thing and couldn't get it to work. I'm "20." If you don't understand go to my friend Abigail's blog and you'll understand what I tried put in this space, i.e. cake thingy with explanation of age meanings and link to test. Sorry, I still ain't blog savvy. Savvy?)

To explain the title: I'm in the dining facility one day and as I get up to put my food tray on the rack a government equivalent of the public school lunch lady says, "You look like uh baby!" At first I just heard some comment with "baby" at the end and thought she was trying to come on to me. "What?" I said, rather confused. "You look like uh baby!" "Oh," I thought, "she's not trying to flirt with me, she just emasculating me for anyone who is listening." So yes, thanks lunch lady, it is good to know that though I'm about to go lead men in combat, I look like a baby. Thanks for boosting that ol' self-image thing up for me. Every little bit helps.

"...I pray the Lord my soul to take..."

2006-03-20T22:44:00.000-05:00

I pray for clarity. I pray that I not give up following after God because it is hard. I pray I'll push through the fog and wait patiently for the sunlight. I pray that God does awesome things and I pray that I have the honor of being a part of it. I pray that do not settle. I pray that I become more and more like Jesus.

Lucy and Aslan

2006-03-19T20:21:00.000-05:00

I suppose I'm posting on too serious of subjects to get any responses. Or perhaps no one is reading. That may be for the best. I wouldn't know which was happening since I'm not very blog savvy. I don't know how to get a count on those sort of things as some people seem to have.

Well, without any sign of letting up, here is another hard thing to ponder. I meant to mention this the other day but forgot.

Here is the issue: God is not a respecter of man. He has, does and will move in ways we would neither expect or imagine in order to bring glory to His name. And as my dear C.S. Lewis said so beautifully concerning Jesus, "'Safe?' said Mr. Beaver...'Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. but he's good. He's the King, I tell you.'"

The reason I bring this up is that I pose to you, how far would God go to get the attention of one man? Just one man that God is calling out to. One man that God is offering a choice to, of belief in Him for eternity, or eternal regret. Well, think what you want. But you'll have a hard time convincing me to alter my belief concerning the events of two weeks ago. So here it is: two weekends past, five people died. Three in one automobile accident. The other two in as many separate and unrelated incidents. Five people. Nothing would connect them except that they were all the friends of one man here at Fort Benning. He's been exploring the claims and observing the lives of Christians while here. He's been seeking an answer to the question, "who is God?" And it seems as though God has given an answer. What kind of an answer? Why this? Why five people? For this one man? It seems so.

We all then must hold on to our lives very lightly. God is not a safe Lion. He is not always a gentle Lamb. But He is good.

A Long Digestion

2006-03-18T23:31:00.000-05:00

I guess this needs to be quick to make sure I get it in on time to meet my daily quota... I'll try. Wie ich habe schon gesagt: ich bin immer langsam. Trotzdem...

God has made us all the way we are for a reason. I believe that. I also believe He has put us in environments and situations for a very specific reason.

I've mentioned the ministry I've been a part of here in Georgia. To abbreviate things, I would say that one characteristic that could describe it would be fruitcentric. No. That is too limited a view. That is what I feel like it is right now. I'm not getting anywhere in my head or on this post. It has taken several minutes to get this far.

Okay here we go. Vomit time.

I want to be fruitful. God has made it clear throughout scripture that He wants us to be fruitful in... well I should think almost if not all aspects of our lives. Jesus made it clear over and over again that we must be fruitful (Luke 13.6-8, Matt. 7.15-20, Mark 4. 2-25, Matt. 25.14-29, Matt. 28.18-20). But the fruit must be of the Father's production, no? He has nourished me here. He has given me nutrients and pruning and good sunlight and shade. All those things combined should produce fruit, no? I suppose there are many manifestations of fruit. Well, this could go several ways, the point I'm trying a round about way to get to is the idea of helping others by pointing them to Jesus, challenging them, etc. as being a form or fruit. This is true. John 14.15 If I truly love Jesus I will obey Him. I want to obey Him. I want to help others know Him. I don't want to make someone my project. I don't want to be someone else's project.

But can I reject the flames that the Father has lit to refine me. No. Well, perhaps. But that would be rejecting the Father, oder? Perhaps none of this makes sense. I apologize if you're reading and it doesn't. I'm just trying to make sense of it myself. Trying to understand how to obey out of love, how to accept the Father's instruction, the Master's command to His slave, how to love my neighbor and point Him to the Master with that love - for Jesus and that neighbor - as the motivator and not out of guilt, some compunction to check the block so that I can report back to someone else, "oh this is who I've helped (so don't poke me, cus see, there, I've met my quota)."

Frankly, that is bulls@%$ and it frustrates me.

Sadly, that aversion to... the possible side-effects of... trying to be obedient led to ultimately stagnation for... oh, the better part of the last nine years for me. I must be faithful with what Christ has given me, or even that will be taken from me. Perhaps I am the tree from Luke 13.6-8. Perhaps this is the year the gardner has bought for me before the Master has me chopped down. But perhaps even this (well, to use the title of the blog) "rumination" is in itself some form of meager fruit and it would be enough for the Master to not chop me down. But if it is partly in my hands, why leave it here at this fruit (if it is truly fruit at all (and would it really be fruit if I did not then go forth and obey after all this contemplation, or would it be like the fig tree from Mark 11.12-14, which only appeared to have fruit from a distance?))? Why be as fruitful as I can be? There if no reasoning sufficient to justify being less fruitful than possible.

One more thing that troubles me: Jesus cursed the fig tree because it had no fruit, yet "when he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs." What does that mean?

Na gut. Ich habe doch nicht den Takt geschlagen. Der Sonntag wird ein Doppel-Post Tag sein.

(Wenn Sie mein schlechte Deutsch verstanden wollen (vielleicht, wenn Sie gluecklich sind), sind diese Website ziemlich gut: www.leo.org oder http://babelfish.altavista.com/ )

Bis naechste mal!

"Double Time... MARCH!"

2006-03-17T22:36:00.000-05:00

Well, it seems the time has arrived. Plans have changed. New things are in the making that have never happened before. There will be two March Ranger classes. Or rather, for the first time there will be an April Ranger course. Well, actually, there will be one company of lieutenants for a strange unprecedented Ranger school starting March 27th.

So as Abigail has thrown the glove at my feet, so to speak, I'll suppose I'll have to rise to the occasion and do some serious blogging before I head into my minimum security prison for, Lord willing, two months. So yes, lo, this is post Nummer zwei fuer Heute.

I thought I would be staying around here in Fort Benning until roughly May but the Army is in the hurt box for us wonderful LTs. So in my case it is go now or don't go at all and just get sent to your unit. So to Ranger school I go a skipping.

It will be a hard time. A furnace in manifold ways. Much can be learned, much can be gained, much can be lost. I pray that I will remain faithful to Him, as He is ever faithful to me. I pray that I cling to Him like never before. I pray that the light of His love will shine all the brighter through us His children in a dark place. I know He has gone before me. How great is our God, our King, our Lord, our Master, our Beloved?

So on a more random info note: had a movie checked out and I was late. Took it back today. Left with four DVD's. 2 for 2 deal. I'm the dork that will by 10 for 10 of cereal boxes at grocery stores. I'm the "deal" idiot. Dangle a piece of cheese in front of me and I'll go for it.

Oh, also, if you happened to read Abigail's post today then you heard about her run in with the fuzz. As I was driving this evening I was thinking about her getting pulled over as I came up a hill. On top of said hill was mr. po-po I assume to catch villains such as myself. I was a good 10 to 15 miles over the speed limit. Didn't get stopped for reasons unknown to me. Sorry Abigail. Better luck next time.

Chewing on the Cud

2006-03-15T21:32:00.000-05:00

Is anyone else as slow as me? I usually feel like my brain consists of mostly mush. How do I process all the data? How do we gain wisdom? I know, I know. Ask for it. How then do we obey? Obey...?

Wasted opportunities. But then there were great opportunities God threw in my lap and I had no choice but to speak the Truth. Focus. That is what is needed. Focus.

I was able to sit in on a great conversation with the men I live with and some friends (who I until recently lived with). The topic was a little varied. Starting off with the stressing of the immanent coming of the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom is at hand. We must take hold of every moment we have to spread the good news. To let others know.

It amazes me how little I know. How small my perspective. How small my faith. Alas, it is good to be challenged. It is good to have people to look up to. It is okay to be precisely where I am. Where else could I be? I am a slow learner. I/we must plead for God's help to understand more and more of what it means to follow Him, so be His slave, to focus ALL my/our energy on the pursuit of what is eternal: "Only one life, twill soon be past, only wht was done for Christ will last."

We are not our own. We are slaves. It is not a question of obedience. "Which of you, having a slave plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field, 'Come immediately and sit down to eat'? But will he not say to him, 'Prepare something for me to eat, and properly clothe yourself and serve me while I eat and drink'? He does not thank the slave because he did the things which were commanded, does he? So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, 'We are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.' "

Jesus, please continue to be patient with me/us. Thank You for the honor and pleasure to be in the game. Thank You for wanting to use me/us to win the victory You could so easily achieve on your own without me. I/we am/are slow Jesus. You know me/us better than I/we know myself/ourselves. You've said that You will complete the good work you've begun in me/us (Phil. 1.6). Please remember that promise. I/we am/are only the pot, Great Potter. What can I/we achieve apart from You? How can I/we question your craftsmanship of me/us? Lead me/us in the way that I/we should go, Dearest, my Beloved. I/we desire to be fruitful. I/we desire to magnify you. Refine me/us. Make me/us a sharper tool for the glory of your name.

Q is for Question

2006-03-12T22:45:00.000-05:00

So who did Jesus spend his time with? The twelve mostly. Just a few guys.

What about the crowds? It seems that Jesus's main goal was to train His disciples in the context of helping the masses. Look closely at the Gospels. Who did he really want to spend His energy on? The truly hungry or the vaguely curious? Look at Mark4 and the Parable of the Sower and the Four Soils. Who did he explain it to? Those that asked Him what it meant. The twelve and other close disciples, but not the "very large crowd."

What does that mean for us?

What is the difference between helping someone and training someone? Who did he help? Who did he train?

Would you rather eat only American cheese for a year and nothing else, or have one of your arms tied to your side for a year?

Would you rather have eagle like vision or a dog's sense of smell?

Talk amongst yourselves. Anyone have any thoughts?

O' Dark-Thirty...

2006-03-09T02:27:00.000-05:00

Okay, so here I am. I'm on SDO tonight. I'm the alternate Staff Duty Officer for the battalion for a 24 hour period. It is about 17.5 hours into it. I'm not supposed to be on the internet. Why? I'm not sure. However, I don't feel to bad about it. There is nothing else to do. The laptop I'm trying to watch movies on is messing up. I've been reading for the better part of the day, granted it wasn't the most productive reading since it was interupted frequently, but nonetheless...

I'm a big fan of the instruction sheet posted here at the desk. One of the last bullets reads:

"Internet - Do not get on internet. Good luck trying anyhow. (Actually, just opend 'SDO Reports' folder and type desired wibpage into the address space. Be advised that the internet does suck most times."

So it is hard to have a guilty conscience right now.

Again, I'm nearly stopped before I start with blogging because I don't know where to start. I suppose that is almost always my problem. Where do I start? Where do I start thinking? Where do I start acting? Where do I start believing? Well, maybe this will help with at least the first.

First off: thinking. I'm tempting to go with feelings, but I think that might be too big a muddled wad of yarn to try and lay out clearly and in such a manner that it makes sense to anyone. Of course, the whole point of this is really not to help anyone else but me. I'm selfish. I admit it. But I'm also kept silent from this self-therapy by those "anyone elses." You. It is all in my head. I guess I'm stuck with the stumbling block of not wanting to appear the fool. Appear the stupid or the base. I want to come across, though I know it to be false, as the one who has a bead on things. No of course that is ridiculous. So instead, as is often my habit, I want to come across as the one that is aware of my short sighted perspective and yet, don't forget, I'm still doing better than "you." Even this stupid blog is a freaking self-centered, self-loathing, me-monster attempt at displaying the endless reflections of me, feigning to be striving for an outward focus. Holy crap that probably doesn't make sense to anyone. It barely makes sense to me.

That it or leave it.

I guess something you might be wondering is what I'm doing down here besides sitting behind a desk for 24 hour periods interupted by periodical inspections. The ministry I've mentioned I'm a part of is simply put, focused on discipleship. It is wild how much this simple thought has clarified some things for me. If Jesus was not only our savior but also our model what does that mean? It means, let us consider what Jesus did. Who did He spend His time with? With what purpose?

I've started this half-baked thing and possed these questions and now I'm feeling totally out of steam. Coa-coa ain't cuttin' it. Coffee is what I need. Looks like I ain't gettin it. I'll try and get back to this thing after some sleep. And after some coffee. Maybe I can stay awake by watching movies if only this laptop with cooperate...

"...the Lord directs his steps."

2006-03-03T17:37:00.000-05:00

God answered our prayers and saw fit to guide my commander to let me and my bud Charlie to postpone going to Ranger School till May. Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. Please pray that these next two months will be fruitful and full of new opportunities for my compadres and me to be challenged and learn from the Rabboni. Oh, and that we'll get to go to the May Ranger School. Thank you for each prayer.

And tonight, five friends have birthdays within a few days of one another so we're going to party like its 2009!

I "Wonder What's Next"

2006-03-02T23:37:00.000-05:00

Today has been packed with serious prayer and deliberation. Should I go to Ranger School this coming Monday or should I ask to wait until May? Das ist hier die Frage. He left it unclear to me, either way. Should I go get started and look for every opportunity to reach out to guys there, and basically head into the unknown? Or should I ask to wait till May and stay in an environment I know has been a rich environment for my growth. I don't know if anyone else says this, but in the Army it is a common saying: "I don't know what I don't know." Well, I feel like I'm just now figuring out what it is that "I don't know." Sticking with the knowledge vs ignorance motif, there is a lot of unknowns left. Will I even get into Ranger School in May? If not, will they send me to my unit without letting me go? By the way, not being ranger qualified in the infantry as an officer is... like having a huge L tattooed on your forehead, or in our case on your shoulder. It may not actually make you tactically smarter, but if nothing else (and there is more) it gives you instant credibility anywhere you go in the Army - and lots of places in the civilian sector -especially with your unit. And credibility as an officer is sometimes hard to come by. Even with it, you have a LOT to learn. And everyone knows it.

My decision is to take that chance. I would rather show up to my unit without a tab but be better trained to disciple men, help, equip and train them in knowing God and then turning around and doing the same for others, than to show up with a Ranger tab on my shoulder and be half-baked. It is God that does any work of the heart, in any case. But why turn down extra ammo when going into combat? It may be a long time before I can be in an ammo supply point like this again. God has left the decision up to me, it would seem, by not giving me a clear direction otherwise. In my limited knowledge, I believe staying will be best for the Kingdom (Matt. 19.11-12). I will leave the unknown in God's hands and pray for a chance to go in May. I pray that when I ask my commander tomorrow he'll allow me to wait. I pray that if I do wait, God will make it a rich season (Psalm 37.3-5). If not, hey baby, Ranger School, here I come. Whatever happens, even if I choose the "wrong path" (really just the lesser of two goods), God is still sovereign His will will be accomplished and I "will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds [my] hand" (Psalm 37. 23-24).

To Him be the glory forever and ever.

Inaugural Post

2006-02-27T16:13:00.000-05:00

I am creating this blog to explore and experiment. I want it to be about more than my thoughts and experiences. If nothing else it will allow those that care to keep tabs on my transient life as a soldier. In any case if it does not add to the Kingdom of God then I'll chop it off and try to use my time and energy in other more fruitful ways.

Where to begin? At the beginning I suppose. It just so happened that a blizzard blew into town about the time I was born... no. I won't go that far back. But in case you've missed the last few months of my life here is a quick synopsis: Through the Army, God has brought me to Georgia to go through several schools. The Army's aim: preparing me to "victoriously lead men in combat." Sounds good right? Thus far I've gone through the Infantry Officer Basic Course and Airborne School. Next up is Ranger School. For the last month or so I've actually done very little as far as work goes for the Army. Waiting on Ranger School involves lots and lots of waiting. But God's purpose has proven much bigger. Instead of merely leading men in combat, God has brought me here to train me how to, first, intentionally pursue Him, and second, how to help others to pursue Him in like manner. It has been a great experience and to steal the line from one of the men helping me (whose website I recommend checking out) "I feel like I'm drinking out of a firehose" (Wood, Chaplain Chuck. Many Sundry Occasions). I anticipate that most of my posts will involve this ministry God has brought me into and so will hopefully bring more clarity to what my training in both the Army and in the pursuit of the Father is entailing.

I think I'll end my Inaugural Post here.