I "Wonder What's Next"

Today has been packed with serious prayer and deliberation. Should I go to Ranger School this coming Monday or should I ask to wait until May? Das ist hier die Frage. He left it unclear to me, either way. Should I go get started and look for every opportunity to reach out to guys there, and basically head into the unknown? Or should I ask to wait till May and stay in an environment I know has been a rich environment for my growth. I don't know if anyone else says this, but in the Army it is a common saying: "I don't know what I don't know." Well, I feel like I'm just now figuring out what it is that "I don't know." Sticking with the knowledge vs ignorance motif, there is a lot of unknowns left. Will I even get into Ranger School in May? If not, will they send me to my unit without letting me go? By the way, not being ranger qualified in the infantry as an officer is... like having a huge L tattooed on your forehead, or in our case on your shoulder. It may not actually make you tactically smarter, but if nothing else (and there is more) it gives you instant credibility anywhere you go in the Army - and lots of places in the civilian sector -especially with your unit. And credibility as an officer is sometimes hard to come by. Even with it, you have a LOT to learn. And everyone knows it.

My decision is to take that chance. I would rather show up to my unit without a tab but be better trained to disciple men, help, equip and train them in knowing God and then turning around and doing the same for others, than to show up with a Ranger tab on my shoulder and be half-baked. It is God that does any work of the heart, in any case. But why turn down extra ammo when going into combat? It may be a long time before I can be in an ammo supply point like this again. God has left the decision up to me, it would seem, by not giving me a clear direction otherwise. In my limited knowledge, I believe staying will be best for the Kingdom (Matt. 19.11-12). I will leave the unknown in God's hands and pray for a chance to go in May. I pray that when I ask my commander tomorrow he'll allow me to wait. I pray that if I do wait, God will make it a rich season (Psalm 37.3-5). If not, hey baby, Ranger School, here I come. Whatever happens, even if I choose the "wrong path" (really just the lesser of two goods), God is still sovereign His will will be accomplished and I "will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds [my] hand" (Psalm 37. 23-24).

To Him be the glory forever and ever.